When a PC is powered on but it finds no disk to boot from, it says to you in gray letters: “No bootable device — insert a boot disk and strike any key.” A Mac shows instead an archaic icon of a floppy disk with a blinking question mark. If you turn on a Nintendo Entertainment System without inserting a cartridge first, its power light simply blinks on and off as your television set displays a gray screen. But — there is a subtlety here not often found in computers. If the NES senses a cartridge but cannot read its contents properly, it will sometimes show its initial screen but with corrupted graphics, or with the first note of its song strung out into an endless tone.

This is a harmless occurrence whose traditional remedy is taking out the cartridge and blowing into its contacts, to clear out any dust. It’s a familiar, comfortable ritual to anyone who owned a NES in its heyday, like cleaning your glasses or trimming your fingernails.

When I was a child, I once turned on my father’s Atari 2600 with a cartridge half-inserted by accident. Instead of displaying a message, an icon, or even corrupted graphics, it emitted an unholy, piercingly loud shriek.

I found out later that this process is called frying, and that if you do it skillfully, you can alter gameplay — by causing sprites to act contrary to their programming, or the world of the game itself to warp.

But as a kid, I was scared shitless by the sound.

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I have had a hankering lately to play a game that does not exist.  Specifically, a Western RPG as they used to be, before Bioware and Bethesda took up the reins of Western RPGdom.  Of course, many of you will say there is nothing wrong with those two being in charge, but I’m afraid that Dragon Age and Fallout 3 just don’t scratch that itch for me.

So, why?  Why am I dissatisfied with the current crop of Western RPGs?  What are they missing, what are they doing wrong?

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I hate sequels.  I really, really do.

This isn’t going to be a rant against sequels in general, and how I believe that instead of endlessly iterating titles, studios should be working on new intellectual properties.

I do believe that, but this isn’t about that.

When a high-profile title comes out and is successful, a sequel is inevitably announced and my trepidation begins.  I’ve been burned in the past by sequels, “updates,” and remakes, and even though I knew that the game was going to be a trilogy when the first one came out, the announcement of Mass Effect 2 gave me pause.  ME1 was a solid game, with a dynamic story and a well implemented morality system – one that actually gave weight to your choices in the long term.  I picked up the game hoping that ME2 wouldn’t suffer from the same case of “sequelitis” I had seen in previous games, but knowing that it probably wouldn’t be nearly as good as the original.

As much as I hate sequels, I love being proved wrong about them even more.

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