Stuck on a really hard level of the internet?  Here are some hints that may help get you through!

Q. I got the Red Key from the doorman, but I can’t find the Blue Key anywhere!

A. Did you think about reading some stories both real and imagined about Baltimore?  That might help.

Q. The code Cardinal Suspiciouoso gave me didn’t work! How can I translate the Book of Mysteries now?

A. The Cardinal is not to be trusted, but getting together some friends and blowing the crap out of each other could be more useful…

Q. Great, I lost the inflatable bulldozer, the the Book of Mysteries is on fire, and the Cardinal has had me imprisoned by his clone guards! WTF!?

A. At times like this, perhaps it would be best to check an ongoing anthology of stories that react to your touch, don’t you think?

Q. I snuck out of the prison after setting up a distraction with the gaseous parrot and the campfire kit, but now I’m completely lost in the Caves of Uncommon Moistness.

A. Maybe you should have stopped by the prison library first.  Having a community-driven strategy guide for games would probably be a big help here.  But watch out, by using these hints to reference using other hints, you may rupture the space-time continuum.

Q. I’ve gotten to the far end of the Cave of Uncommon Moistness, but the Bespectacled Ogre keeps killing me no matter what I attack him with!  Do I need to find a gun or something?  Or maybe two guns?

A. Maybe you should tone down the aggression and try talking, Rambo.  It turns out the Ogre has a softer side, and writes about the small things that fascinate us, the big things that frighten us, and the crunchy things we like to eat. Maybe he’d be interested in that journal of sonnets you found back by the underground lake, hm?  Or, barring that, there’s a shotgun under the third rock in the Cavern of Shallow Puddles.