October is a month primarily known for giving us candy and costumes, but not always in that exact order.  Equally as important, though usually oft forgotten these days, October is also the month that brought Roger Wilco into this world.

Roger Wilco’s glorious birth into the world.

Roger was first introduced to us in the year 1986, dutifully performing his janitorial duties on the Aracdia.  Roger was a humble man, his greatest ambition to find a really excellent mop.  Alas, fate would step in to change Roger’s destiny, as his ship is attacked by the vicious Sariens as he slipped in a mid-shift nap in the ship’s closet.  The only survivor, Roger set off on an adventure like none he’d ever taken before.  His first goal was survival, but his second goal was to destroy the Star Generator the Sariens had taken before they could put it to ill use.  After a spot of monster slaying, some high-speed piloting, a little gambling, Roger succeeded at his goal and was hailed a hero by the people of Xenon.

Fame could not keep Roger from his true passion, though, and he was soon made Head (and only) Janitor on the Xenon orbital research station.  And while Roger probably could have remained in this idyllic existence for many years, fate once again reared its ugly head.  Sludge Vohaul, the Sarien behind the Aracadia attack, kidnaps Roger to exact his revenge.  Roger, much like the muck he cleans up on a daily basis, was pretty slick, and through some clever puzzle solving (and probably some hint book buying…) Roger turned the tables on Vohaul and blows him to bits, then escaped in a rickety escape pod, sealing himself into cryosleep in order to survive.

Trash – a janitor’s best friend

As was a trend in his life, waking up turned out to be an unpleasant experience for Roger.  His pod had been picked up by a garbage scow, and finding his way out was his next big challenge.  After cobbling together a ship from various junked parts, Roger makes his way off the scow and on to new adventure.  As is Roger’s way, he quickly became entangled with strange new troubles, as he was tasked with rescuing the famed “Two Guys From Andromeda,” the galaxy’s greatest game designers who have been made captive by the vile Scummsoft, forced to pump out crappy knock-offs and sequels (how prescient!).  After evading some killed androids, playing some Astro Chicken, and engaging in an epic giant robot battle, Roger saved the day once again, and headed off for some much needed r&r.

But you didn’t really think things would work out that way, did you?  No, poor Roger never got a break.  Instead, he had to deal with time holes.  And not the fun kind, either, but the kind that spews out people from the future that want to kill you.  Fortunately, Roger was rescued by another time traveller, who also turned out to be his future son.  That kind of thing happens all the time in space, from what I hear.  At any rate, Roger found himself leaping through time, so such exotic destintations as Space Quest I and Space Quest XII.  Truly, this was one of Rogers greatest adventures, and he could not help but hold his head high after all was said and done.

Following his chrono-journeys, Roger decided to follow a new path in life.  Enrolling in StarCon and cheating his way to his first command: the garbage scow Eureka.  While these were momentous moments in Roger’s life, it was these times that also gave the first clue that all was not right with him.  Roger was there, but something seemed lacking.  Perhaps he was just tired at this point in his life, or perhaps it was because one of his creators had left him… either way, those of us who followed him knew something was wrong.

Then, in the year 1995, Roger Wilco died a premature death.  Or, at least, he was dead to me, anyway.  And a lot of other people.  Space Quest 6 was Roger’s last adventure, and the decline that had started in V became terminal.  Maybe it was because they didn’t label this one with a proper Roman numeral,  or maybe it was because they decided to make the adventure incredibly cartoonish.  Or maybe it was because Sierra itself was in the throes of death.  Whatever the cause, it left Roger lifeless and alone, lost to the mists of time.

So now, years later, let us look back at the good times we had with Roger and try and forget his unfortunate end.  Let us celebrate October as a time when we can all admire the bumbling, amusing antics of a single brave space janitor and try and forget some of the troubles around us.

Here’s to you, Roger Wilco, wherever you are.  Let’s hope you’ve found the mop you were looking for.

Let us remember him as a man of quiet dignity